Second Chances

As a child and well into my adult life I had a turbulent relationship with my dad. The hostile relationship between my dad and I started when I was around thirteen years old and gradually escalated to the point where we avoided each other. It was like the Cold War between us to the extent that during my mother’s long period of illness very little information was shared between my dad and me. We distrusted each other. For us the hostility and distrust was our normal relationship. Acrimonious would be a mild description of our relationship.

Today my dad and I have a much better we relationship. Our wounds we healed more than ten years ago through mediation and various conflict resolutions means. My dad is seventy-six (76) years old and gradually overtime I come to consider and respect him as wise man. I definitely never saw him is such light earlier in my life. On reflection perhaps I never gave him the slightest opportunity to demonstration is wisdom many, many years ago. However, since May he has being visiting with me and my family for the summer and I have had the opportunity see my dad is much more positive light. I have had the opportunity to rekindle the relationship with my dad. Over the summer I observed my dad with my five (5) years old daughter and I could not help but admire him. In doing so I kept on asking myself "what if we never had second chances?"

We have all had second chances in life. Our second chances may be in our relationships with our parents or children, with our managers or co-workers, or even in our career or educations. It may be from mistakes that led to criminal convictions. Whatever the situation we have all had second chances.

When I observed my dad with my daughter, he appeared to be having the best time of his life. One Friday evening they did karaoke and it was one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen from my dad. The Saturday after they played doll house and I saw my dad being fed all kinds of make believe food prepared by daughter. It was also amazing watching my dad with my eighteen years old son who was preparing to go off to university. I saw my dad hugged and counselled my son frequently. At times it brought tears of joy to my eyes. My dad was gentle and caring. He was patient and understanding. He would sit for an hour or two and just watching my son played video games. It was refreshing and welcoming to me this summer observing my dad with my children is ways that I had very little children memories of similar experience with him.

I believe this summer I had a second chance with my dad. I saw my dad being the absolutely best grandfather to both my son and my daughter. I had conversations with my dad about his childhood days. I had conversations with him about his relationships, his career and so many other things such as his regrets. During the summer I learned that one of his regrets was not having the opportunity to go to college. I also learned that he would one day love to visit places like Iceland and Alaska. He would like to see the amazing marine animals of Alaska such as sea lions and seals. This summer was an amazing second chance with my dad.

As the summer comes to end and the fall is about to lead us into another Canadian winter my family is left with a sense of joy but also a bit of emptiness. On Wednesday my dad visit will end and he will return to Jamaica and our home and hearts will be empty. My daughter as she does not want her grandfather is to go and this morning I had to console her. My wife has already expressed her sadness as his time draws near. We know he has to return to home. My family and I had a wonderful summer with my dad but what if we never had second chances? For example, what if Steve Jobs never had a second chance? Steve Jobs left Apple in 1985 after a power struggle with the board of directors. In 1996 Steve Jobs had his second chance when returned to Apple and today is credited for much of Apple’s success. What if I never had a second chance with my dad? Would I have had the opportunity to see such positive and wonderful things about him? Would my children have had the opportunity to get to know their grandfather in ways that I never knew him in my own childhood?

Second chances are important to us because it allow us the freedom and safety to simply be human. We are humans we all make mistakes. Sometime it is poor communication, the lack of patience and tolerance or lack of understanding that is the source of broken relationships. I know from personal experience how painful it felt to be misunderstood or judged and live in exile from my dad. We all have good hearts and want them to be seen. We have so much to offer and want others to welcome our gifts, dreams and successes. When someone shuts us out before they even know who we are, it can feel frustrating, hurtful, and confusing. By giving others a second chance, we can extend the same courtesy we would ask for ourselves. In this way, we set a precedent for all our relationships.

I encourage you to grasp the opportunities of second chances. Grasp the opportunity to improve your relationships. Grasp that opportunity to be outstanding in your job. Give second chances and embrace second chances!

Mark McKenzie is a leading Subject Matter Expert in financial services regulation and supervision as well as a professional motivational speaker, corporate trainer and youth mentor. He can be contacted by email mastbmckenzie@gmail.com or by telephone 647-406-4622.

The Pair of Orange Shoes - A Symbol of Excellence

I frequently find myself thinking about excellence. Success in our careers, finances or personal lives is all about striving for excellence. What then is excellence? I would say excellence is something that is outstanding and easily identifiable. For example, few days ago I went to run some errands including going to the bank. While parking my car I glimpsed a pair of elegant orange shoes stepping inside the bank. The split seconds I had to see the pair of elegant orange shoes was enough to plant in my mind that they were truly an amazing pair of shoes and one I am confident Imelda Marcos would have love to add to her almost three thousand collection of shoes. The quality of a person’s shoes is very often considered as symbol of wealth and sophistication. The pair of elegant orange shoes that I saw was distinguished and easily identifiable, and clearly a symbol of excellence. Consequently, my first reaction to the pair of elegant orange shoes was that I wanted to see person whose feet worn those elegant orange shoes. I wanted to ask the person wearing the shoes to allow me to picture for my social media update. I am presumptuous individual. However, I am not a stalker or paparazzi. Once inside the bank it was easy for me to grace my eyes on the pair of elegant orange shoes. The pair of elegant orange shoes was being worn by someone I know – a friend and a truly wonderful person. A key point about excellence is that it causes us to scrutinize others and to be scrutinized by others much closer. My split seconds glance at the pair of elegant orange shoes stepping inside the bank and concluding it was a symbol of excellence was enough for me to take a closer look at who was wearing it. I share this story to encourage you standout and shine like an elegant pair of orange shoes. Strive for excellence in your careers, finances and personal lives. To do this set your mission and goals. This is simply a set of guiding principles which clearly state where you are going and where you want to be at specific times in your life. A mission statement embodies your values. It is your personal lighthouse that helps to keep you steadily on the course of your dreams and goals. Whatever the mission statement of your life, refine it and review it regularly. Once you have set your mission and goals it is imperative to act on your goals. I encourage you to strive for excellence in you careers, finances and personal lives. Standout like a beacon and be like my friend’s pair of elegant bright orange shoes. Be distinguished and easily identifiable as the hallmark of excellence. Mark McKenzie is a leading Subject Matter Expert in financial services regulation and supervision as well as a professional motivational speaker, corporate trainer and youth mentor. He can be contacted by email mastbmckenzie@gmail.com or by telephone 647-406-4622.

Titanic - Never Let Go!

Chronic fatigue , conflicted feelings, a sense of powerlessness, entrapped and excessive anxiety are all signs of despair and hopelessness. When faced with despair and hopelessness the important thing is to Never Let Go. The Christian hymn, Amazing Grace written by john newton and published in 1779 is a message of being delivered from despair and hopelessness. If you know the history of John Newton, he was forced into the Royal Navy and after leaving the navy became involved in the Atlantic Slave Trade. In 1748 a violent storm battered his ship so severely he called out to God for mercy, a moment that marked his spiritual conversion. If you are faced with despair and hopelessness in addition to being drawn closer to your faith there are three things you should do to restore hope. 1. Explore your gifts and passions with someone you love 2. Help others that are less fortunate than you are 3. Don’t stop dreaming and never let go. Picture the scene from the 1997 by James Cameron’s epic romantic disaster movie Titanic. 1. Explore your gifts and passions with someone you love In one of the opening scenes Rose Dewitt (played by Kate Winslet) considers suicide by jumping off the ship's stern and Jack Dawson (Leonardo Dicaprio) a drifter and artist stopped her. Jack: don't do it. Rose: stay back! Don't come any closer! Jack: Come on, just give me your hand. I'll pull you back over. In this initial exchange Jack is offering himself as a friend to Rose to open the opportunity for her to explore her gifts and passions with someone. Throughout the rest of the movies Rose explore her passion for the arts and different culture with Jack. if you are like Rose from the Titanic, get involve in your community or joining an organisations such as Toastmasters can be your first step to overcoming despair and hopelessness. As you explore your gifts and passion it is imperative that you be good to yourself and celebrate both small and big successes. Celebrate the fact that you are smart enough, informed enough, strong enough, sensitive enough, to feel utterly hopeless but knowing life is not perfect. 2. Help others that are less fortunate than you are In the movie Titanic Jack went all out to ensure that Rose did not jump, he told her he would jump in after her. Rose: No, stay where you are! i mean it! i'll let go! Jack: [he approaches slowly, gesturing to his cigarette to show that he is approaching merely to throw it over the side into the ocean] no, you won't. Rose: What do you mean, "No, I won't"? Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do, you don't know me! Jack: Well, you woulda done it already. Rose: You're distracting me! go away! jack: I can't. I'm involved now. You let go, and I'm, I'm go to have to jump in there after you. Rose: Don't be absurd. You'd be killed! In this scene Rose is able to take a pause from her own sense of despair and hopelessness and reflect on how absurd it would be for someone else to jump in after her. She is able to extricate herself from herself from her current state of mind and reflect on the state of Jack. On reflection she may have concluded that for Jack to jump in after her he must be in a worse position than she. In life if you truly want to know how great life is we should talk with other hopeless people or people less fortunate than we are. 3. Don’t stop dreaming and never let go. As it turned out the titanic sank. In one of the last scenes Jack told Rose never to let go and Rose promised never to let go! As the rescuers called for people with their flashlights to see if anyone is alive. Rose remembers her promise and yells for the boat to come back, but can hardly speak. She sees the dead man floating with the whistle and uses all her strength to swim to him. She blows the whistle and the men in the life boat hear it and find her. Live begin at the point when you are just about give. Life begins at the point when you are just about to let go…when face with despair and hopelessness 1. Explore your gifts and passions with someone you love 2. Help others that are less fortunate than you are 3. But most importantly don’t stop dreaming and never let go! Mark McKenzie is a leading Subject Matter Expert in financial services regulation and supervision as well as a professional motivational speaker, corporate trainer and youth mentor. He can be contacted by email mastbmckenzie@gmail.com or by telephone 647-406-4622.

F U 4 Your Career

I know I have caught your attention. Are you fired up for your career? We are cognisant that our words have powerful meaning. In 335 B.C., when Alexander the Great began his campaign to recapture former Greek cities and to expand his empire he used the following words to inspire his men to fight to the bitter end: "You and I, gentlemen, have shared the labour and shared the danger, and the rewards are for us all. The conquered territory belongs to you; from your ranks the governors of it are chosen; already the greater part of its treasure passes into your hands, and when all Asia is overrun, then indeed I will go further than the mere satisfaction of our ambitions: the utmost hopes of riches or power which each one of you cherishes will be far surpassed, and whoever wishes to return home will be allowed to go, either with me or without me. I will make those who stay the envy of those who return." You should always be fired up for your career and I have merely used a shock and awe approach to get your attention especially if you are sitting on the fence casted in a shadow of doubt or even despair. If you are one of those feeling helpless here are four things you should do to be fired up for your career: 1. Create a clear vision of where you would like to be in your career. 2. Take action to turn your vision and goals into actionable items 3. Conduct a self-assessment to determine your key strengths and areas for added improvement. 4. Identify a mentor or coach In the military a warrant officer is a task master. Looking on some may see the warrant officer as a bully but he is merely an individual who is there to ensure that the men and women under his charge achieve their fullest potential. You are responsible for your career. Whatever your dreams or desires your progress, your improvement, your personal development is in your hands. You are the warrant officer of your career. You are responsible for your personal development and growth and only you can ensure that you are truly F U 4 your career. Mark McKenzie is a leading Subject Matter Expert in financial services regulation and supervision as well as a professional motivational speaker, corporate trainer and youth mentor. He can be contacted by email mastbmckenzie@gmail.com or by telephone 647-406-4622.

You Are G.R.E.A.T!

GIFTED, RESPECTABLE, EDUCATED, AMBITIOUS, TENACIOUS AND ABOVE ALL FIERCELY DETERMINED AND DEDICATED TO TAKE ON THE CHALLENGES OF OUR TIME.

My Place of Abode

It is going three weeks now since I arrived. My place of abode feel like a prison camp. You have to eat at certain time or else you get no food. In the cafeteria everyone sit mostly by themselves. It hard to determine who you can trust.

Yesterday I was given permission to cross the city and work from a different location. As my team navigated across the city I could not help but notice that the city a buzz with peasants and traders but I don't see anyone buying.

It is difficult not to notice the hardship and suffering on the face of those in the streets.

I believe I have a very important job to do here but the uncertainty makes it extremely difficult.

Day 5

I am at the end of day 5. I am about to go and get some dinner. Maybe after dinner I will try writing some more for my book. I am proud of the steady progress I am making with my book. I am alone. I miss my family back home.

So I have to pretend I gave my wife a kiss and I hug the children before they went off this morning.

The baby keep me young so tomorrow I will pretend that I am chasing her around.