We are inspired by their stories because they prove that success does not matter where you are born or who your parents are or how much education you acquire. Their stories prove that the key difference between those who succeed in achieving their dreams and goals and those who fail is their character and willingness to do whatever it takes to be the best and to succeed.
They demonstrated the courage required to make it despite of several odds and a never surrendering attitude when faced with challenges. Those who make it feel pride of their journey. They are dreamers and achievers. They create history and reach a status of completeness. We salute them because it takes a lot of guts, hard work, persistence, determination, fighting spirit and vision to be a self-made man.
Why am I sharing this with you today? Two Friday nights ago at about 9.30PM I had a visit from a dear friend whom I had not seen or spoken with in months. When my doorbell rang, I was rushing to put Marisa to bed in order to get back to my computer. I wanted finish working on a project proposal. I was also getting ready for a long road trip to NYC.
As is customary I greeted my friend with a firm handshake and welcoming hug (hugging is unusual for Jamaican men). We sat down for the types of chats we usually have when we see or speak with each other. Our conversations are never short and they usually end with a commitment to continue the subject the next time. We have been friends since we were students at the University of the West Indies for more than 20 years ago. We are like brothers. We inspire and motivate each other.
As we spoke he told me about how difficult it has been for him at work. I had known for a very long time that he had stressful job. However, I was not prepared for the tears that started roll down his eyes when he spoke about one of his superiors at work. For all the years I have known him I have never seen him so sad and vulnerable. My friend is a humble guy, good natured and compassionate. We are both optimists. He is more a realist than I am (I will get back this later). Despite all of this I could see he was clearly having a difficult time at work.
As we spoke I reminded him of the success of his marriage of almost twenty years. I reminded him of his beautiful children. My job two Fridays ago was to pick up a friend that was clearly down. I reminded him of his own words to me 3 or 4 years ago when he told me “Mark, you cannot stop being who you are. You cannot stop being compassionate.”
Finances are critical. We both knew that despite the difficult relationship at work he had to keep his job to support his family. I told my friend that as long as he is healthy and he is able to work each day and perform as his firm required he was guaranteed a salary. I pointed to my computer and told him about the proposal I was working on and the tight deadline I had for submission. I told him that even when I am finished and shipped off the proposal by FEDEX to the prospective client in Asia I was not guaranteed anything. As Tessanne Chin, the Jamaican singing sensation that has captivated the American reality television show “The Voice” said in a recent interview “in my business there are seasons of plenty and seasons of little.” In my business is it feast or famine. In the case of my project proposal I was competing against four other firms and absolutely nothing is guaranteed. I do not have a difficult boss but I face fierce competitors on ever proposals I have prepared and submitted since 2006.
As my friend and I spoke I asked him, which would he prefer? Would it be a difficult boss or the stress that I endure not knowing if my next business proposal will be a success? I mentioned above that my friend is more a realist than I am. Well I am what Daniel Kahneman, the Israeli-American psychologist and winner of the 2002 Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences called delusional optimist. People who are self-made have a degree of delusion. They have to be so passionate about the things they are doing that they have this innate believe that they will not fail. Despite the empirical evidence of business failures entrepreneurs and innovators passionately believe that their business ventures, innovations or inventions will be the one to succeed. They believe in what they are doing and are resoundingly confident in their ability to succeed.
You and I are inspired by the stories of self-made men. Two Friday nights ago I was happy to use my own experience to reinvigorate my friend. I was happy to encourage him not to allow any one person to control him or change him from being the person I have known him to be for more than 20 years. I was happy to encourage him not be deterred by the challenges he faced in the pursuit of his dreams and goals.
I am not Benjamin Franklin or John D. Rockefeller or any of the others mentioned above. I know that there are others who are far more virtuous and saintly than I am. I have flaws and I have made mistakes. I am far from ruthless but I fiercely pursue my dreams and two Fridays ago I was delighted to hold myself up as example for my friend.
Share your stories and experiences. Do you have what it takes to overcome the challenges you are facing? Do you have what it takes to be a self-made man?
Mark McKenzie is a leading Subject Matter Expert in financial services regulation and supervision as well as a professional motivational speaker, corporate trainer and youth mentor. He can be contacted by email mastbmckenzie@gmail.com or by telephone 647-406-4622. Read my blog http://mastbmckenzie.blogspot.ca/ and always write me a comment and share. Follow me on Twitter @mackynacky. Connect with me on www.youtube.com, Google+, Facebook and Linkedin.
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