Hello Friends,
It is Friday and it is the start of the weekend. It is time to rest and recover and recharge your batteries.
This is the conclusion of my story I started last Friday about driving under the influence of my 5 y.o. daughter, Marisa. I truly enjoy long road trips with Marisa. At 5 y.o she is adorable and trouper. She keeps us alert and entertained on long drives.
As I told you last week the second phase of Marisa’s assault is aimed directly at Michelle. Marisa will start by slowing kicking the back of Michelle’s seat. At first it is done in such a way to let her mom thinks they are both enjoying either Adel or Beyonce. Michelle’s singing and dancing would include lots of hand gestures and erratic twirling of her head. During this period we will also get the odd stares from passengers in cars passing us on the highway. Some of the drivers and their passengers will wave and smile and I will reciprocate. Some people staring will have a curious look on their faces as if they are asking the question, what on mother earth Michelle is doing. Their puzzling stares will be exacerbated by the fact that they cannot hear Michelle on top of her voice belting out the tunes of songs she is listening. To the passing onlookers Michelle would appear to be miming but the reality would be inside our car it would be very loud with Adel or Beyonce blasting from the stereo, Michelle singing on top her voice and Marisa trying to get all the attention in the world.
Passengers in other vehicle will also take a glance at Marisa and her subtle movement and of course their stares would be accompanied by a smile communicating that Marisa is cute and adorable. In all of this my thoughts are on arriving at our destination safely and speedily to escape Marisa’s second phase assault. The truth is on long road trips we are like trapped foxes at the mercy of Marisa. We are like sitting ducks for her next epic explosion. Her disruptions will include complaining about a stomach or being nauseated. She will complain that the music is too loud or she does not want to listen to either Adel or Beyonce anymore or she wants to watch Jimmy Early (basically saying she would like to watch the either Daddy Daycare or Dreamgirls with Eddie Murphy). Marisa will just go on and on. Intermittently Marisa’s kicks to back of Michelle’s seat will get more aggressive and occasionally she will reach over and touch Michelle in her head as if rummage through her mother’s hair. At this point Michelle is drawn back to the reality inside the car and recognised that all along Marisa was not being entertained by either Adel or Beyonce. The truth is all along Marisa was employing a strategy of mind control with a subtle blend of aggression rather than being entertained and enjoying the music.
This behaviour calls for threats and consequences and at this point I will say to Marisa in a very stern voice “Marisa, stop that immediately or I will stop this car and I will take you out of the car and leave you right there on the side.” Sometimes rather than telling her I will leave her on the side of the road I will threaten to slap her behind. I usually get Marisa’s attention with my expert use of threats and consequences. She will pause just for a few second and then she would take her toy mobile phone and while pretending to speak with her imaginary friend and hopefully, not a 9…1…1 operator. She would then engage in a rather detailed conversation with the person at the other end, telling the person that Mummy and Daddy are not being nice.
On the very rare occasions if I am lucky I may be able to say to Marisa that I am putting my ears on pause and that I will not be able to hear her anymore. On such rare occasions she will then turn to her grandmother or grandfather sitting beside her and tell them daddy can’t hear anymore because he is an alien visiting from space. Most times my use of threats and consequence doesn’t work because Marisa is a master at taking me on a guilty trip. Usually in her conversation with imaginary friend, she will say, treat others as you wish to be treated and that she misses her wonderful family, which just melts my heart away. My friends you have to believe me Marisa is a master of trickery and as the father of two grown children I am no match for Marisa’s plots and ploys.
Enthusiastic Brainwashing
On very rare occasions Marisa will actually start crying because she is truly terrified of the consequences. Sometimes the thoughts of being left on her on the side of the road really scare the lively delight out of her. Yes, I would like her to stop all the whining but understandably long road trips are difficult for adults much less a 5 year old child. Marisa, like so many 5 y.o., gets bored and tired. And the thoughts of being left on the side of the road are indeed very scary. When Marisa is scared everyone knows from here frightened look and loud bawling. Have you ever heard the loud howling noise or screams that cats make late in the nights? A truly terrified Marisa can bawl and howl louder than your neighbourhood cats.
Given that she made me feel guilty and that is it also obvious that she is petrified this is the time for me to engage my third and final strategy that is enthusiastic brainwashing. With Marisa almost at the point of epileptic temperament with very long streams of tears running from her eyes I am filled with guilty. It is time for me to do damage control. My goal now is to get her to calm down and stop the everlasting bawling. At this point I will look at Marisa through the rear view mirror and say “Marisa if you stop crying, you will be the most adorable child in the world” or I may say “Marisa there is a deep hole in my heart, if you stop crying it will heal my heart instantly and daddy will love you with all my heart to the end of the earth” or I may even say “Marisa please stop crying, you are my most precious angel in all the universe.”
Gradually she will calm down and the more she calms down and relaxed, the more exciting I will get and the more praises I will shower on Marisa. The point is I get more excited than Marisa does when I am using enthusiastic brainwashing. Sometimes I get so excited that Michelle will say to me “honey relax.” By this time I am now the one with the crazy hand gestures and erratic head movement. The passengers in passing vehicles would now be giving me the blank stares and the drivers would merely accelerate as if to say we better get as far away as possible from this crazy man. To be honest if I was driving and saw another driver acting the way I do when Marisa is calming down I would probably think the driver is crazy too and also try to get as far away as possible in a hurry too.
Marisa will eventually engage me in a lengthy conversation which is best described as monologue. During the conversation Marisa rarely gives me the opportunity to participate. She will create different stories and go on her monologue playing different characters using different voices. This will continue for about 30 to 40 minutes. On very long trips she will eventually fall asleep. During her naps Michelle and I have some peace and quiet time in the car or even have light conversations. However, one way or the other as long as she is awake Marisa’s thoughts and focus always shift back to the silly McDonald’s toy.
I truly enjoy long road trips with Marisa. At 5 y.o she is adorable and trouper. She keeps us alert and entertained.
Please enjoy your weekend.
Mark McKenzie is a leading Subject Matter Expert in financial services regulation and supervision as well as a professional motivational speaker, corporate trainer and youth mentor. He can be contacted by email mastbmckenzie@gmail.com or by telephone 647-406-4622. Read my blog http://mastbmckenzie.blogspot.ca/ and always write me a comment and share. Follow me on Twitter @mackynacky. Connect with me on www.youtube.com, Google+, Facebook and Linkedin.
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